DISCLAIMER: Don’t try this at home.

1. The garnish on my cocktails counts as a serving of fruit. Right? RIGHT?!

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2. If I put hot sauce on this questionable food I won’t get sick.

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3. I grew up in Australia. My stomach can totally handle this unrefrigerated food item (see also #2)

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4. Fancy coffee counts as a meal.

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5. Yes I feel sick, but I only have today, so I’m just going to hike through the pain up this volcano. The faster I hike, the sooner I can be in the fetal position in bed.

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6. A drink + nighttime cold and flu pills = the best way to sleep through plane travel.

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7. If I don’t sleep for 2 days, I’ll definitely sleep on the plane.

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8. My new local friends are drinking their homemade moonshine and are fine, so I’m sure I will also be fine.

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9. I’m just going to pat all these stray dogs and cats.

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10. Lots of other people have done it, and haven’t died, so I’m sure I’ll be fine.

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